Behind – a rear position
We all will go through a period in our lifetime where the road is tough, we fall and receive bruises, cuts, heartache, disappointments, and hurt! It may Have been a time when you felt all alone and wondered to yourself why me? You may have felt as if no-one understood and no-one has or was experiencing what you were going through at that time. You also may have felt that you couldn't or wouldn't make it through; the hurt and pain was too deep to come out of. But, look at you now...you made it! What took place in the past, is in the past...you are here today and you are still standing. (As for me I'll give my God praise for bringing me out!)
So ask yourself this question...how did you allow the things of the past affect the things in your present? Yes, that period did have a huge impact (negative or positive) in your life, but what have we done with those experience(s)? Did you "Learn" from it? Did you allow it to "Hinder" you? Did you "Repeat" those mistakes again? When you go through a period in your life where it seems like you won't make it and you have no one to turn to, not sure which way to go or even how to get there for that matter; it's a period you will never forget (well you shouldn't). So back to my question...what did you take from it? I ask this because I’ve seen many go through and come out with different results. No I'm not talking about the results of the situation; I'm speaking of how they allowed it to affect their present life. What is she talking about you may be asking...well here it is:
Did you "Learn" from it? When one has learned from their past experiences they are able to recognize the lessons, mistakes and missed opportunities that were before them? When one has learned from past experiences they come out of their situation..."Stronger", "Wiser", "Determined", "Self-Confident", "Healthier" and with just a little bit more "Faith". They recognize several things: a) it was a journey that they have overcome not one that overcame them; b) past mistake(s) will not dictate and control their present or future; c) they’ll take a bad situation and use it for their good; having enough wisdom and strength to press on and not be defeated by what they went through. Looking back over their life and instead of being bitter they are able to say "I went through that to get where I am today." And "I'm in a better place because of what I went through." Now I didn't say this erases the memory. I'm just saying that instead of the memory have control over you...you have control over the memory. As for me, I always say "Thank you Lord for having the Final say!" Lessons Learned!
Did you allow it to "Hinder" you? If you’ve allowed your past trials, mistakes, hurts and disappointments to hinder you then you are in a sad place and you need to come out of it! You are allowing your past to control your present and to dictate your future. Let me guess someone is saying …”but I’m hurting”; “he or she hurt me”; “I missed that opportunity”; “I made a mistake”! Well join the club my sister or brother! Now since you’ve made mistakes, missed some opportunities and/or someone did you wrong; you now are going to let that situation and or person have even more control over you? When you allow these things to hinder you what you are basically doing is surrendering complete control of your life over. You can’t move forward and see what greatness awaits you because you are too busy looking behind you. Now what happens when you try to walk forward while looking behind you? You run into mess, miss opportunities and get lost on your journey! Why would you want a situation or an individual to have that kind of control over your life (Beside God of course)? Right now you could be missing out on blessings, opportunities, a good man or woman because you are hindered by what you keep looking at behind you. If you want to be free from your past; you need to let it go. (My saying is “Let Go and Let God) Learn from it and move forward with eyes in front of you so you won’t miss your true destiny.
Did you "Repeat" those mistakes again? Believe it they are many who don’t learn the first, second or third time after going through something for that matter. I’m sure no one wants to keep repeating the same mistakes but if one doesn’t take notes and learn from what got them in that situation that causes hurt, pain, disappointments and missed opportunities a “repeat” is what will take place. I’m not saying these are special kind of people. We all have repeated some thing’s only to get it the second time, but I’m speaking of those that keep repeating the same things and have yet to get it. You have to step back and ask yourself why? It’s time to check yourself and ask why am I allowing these things to continue? Low self esteem, no self worth, desperation, dependent, needy or (I’m going out on a limb here) you just don’t know any better? Whatever the reason is…it’s time to seek help so that you can come out of that situation. Your life is worth more then what you keep putting yourself through. Know that you were created for a greater purpose. You are worth more than the value that you have placed on yourself. Reach out and find someone that will help you come out and stop repeating. You got to want this for yourself! You can do it but the only way is to stop looking behind you and trying to change what has happened in the past!
The experiences behind us are in the rear for a reason. They can serve several purposes; which purpose it serves is up to you.
Now you know these are just my thoughts and opinions and you may disagree, but I believe we all can pull something from this and hopefully it has "Enlighten", "Empowered" and "Encouraged" you in some way.
Until my next posting remember…
"Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself."
~ Harriet Nelson
Friday, March 12, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
"Relationships” Do you understand?
Do we really understand what being in a relationship means now and days?
I have seen so many people put up and settle for less than what they deserved and what God would have for them. But the sad part is that they often make excuses for dealing with these things. Now before you get started, I’m not just talking about marriages! I’m speaking of all relationships' (ex. Dating, Friendships and Marriages).
I know some of you are reading this and are already making excuses for why you are dealing with the mess that you are in. See my understanding of a relationship is a two way street. Both parties should be bringing something “healthy” and “good” to the table. If you have one party that is for the most part un-supportive, possessive, verbally or physically abusive, negative and very critical of every little thing you do; this is not a Healthy Relationship. Now understand these are just my thoughts/opinions, by no means do you have to agree with me. Let me just say I have experienced some of these things so I recognize them when I see them. I also learned myself worth and got out of it!!!!!! You see that is the first step in all relationships; you must know yourself worth before you enter into any relationship. If you don’t love yourself and respect yourself; don’t look to receive these from others, you are your greatest protector (outside of God of course)…”Protect” yourself.
Friendships should be a relationship with someone that you trust will have your best interest at heart, supportive of you, yet willing to tell you the truth even if it hurts at that moment but knowing it is for your good. A friend is someone who will be there with you when you cry and when you laugh. They are persons who’ll stand by you through the rough patches in your life and the smooth ones. Not just come around when times are good. They will be happy for you when wonderful things happen in your life and not jealous. A friend would never advise you to do anything that will cause you harm or disgrace. Now they may not agree with all of your decisions, but they will respect them and you.
Dating is taking the time to get to know a person, and taking that time to see if you have the same things in common; if you have the same values; similar goals and religious beliefs also; if you enjoy each other’s company. It’s not the time to see if you can deal with them treating you like crap; disrespecting you and not treating you with the respect and dignity you deserve. It’s not the time to find out if you can handle the mentally and/or physical abuse they give! NO! If you are experiencing this…this is the time to “Hit the Road” and hit if FAST! Understand that what you get in dating mostly likely you will get that during the course of the relationship or whatever level you take it to (ex.. marriage, etc.). Simply stating if a person cheats on you while you are dating more than likely they will cheat again! If a person lies to you, more than likely they will lie again. If a person hits you or are verbally abusive, more than likely they will do that again. Am I making it clearer now? Notice I said “more than likely”. I say this because change can come with help and through “Christ”. But that’s a chance you will have to take. As for me; I'm not willing to take that chance with my life, especially if we are only dating. Keep in mind you are only dating! If you don’t like what you see…move on! Life’s too short to be wasting your time!
Marriage is joyful with someone who is your best friend, confidant, lover, companion, motivator, accountability partner, and spiritual partner, financial partner, parenting partner, travel partner, explorer partner, risk taking partner and prayer partner, got your back kind of partner. You see where I'm going with this? Once you take this step two people become one. Whatever you do ultimately you are saying its okay for your spouse to do, because you are one. Marriage is honorable! Treated as that!
Relationships – do you understand them a little more?
Until my next posting remember…
"Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself."
~ Harriet Nelson
I have seen so many people put up and settle for less than what they deserved and what God would have for them. But the sad part is that they often make excuses for dealing with these things. Now before you get started, I’m not just talking about marriages! I’m speaking of all relationships' (ex. Dating, Friendships and Marriages).
I know some of you are reading this and are already making excuses for why you are dealing with the mess that you are in. See my understanding of a relationship is a two way street. Both parties should be bringing something “healthy” and “good” to the table. If you have one party that is for the most part un-supportive, possessive, verbally or physically abusive, negative and very critical of every little thing you do; this is not a Healthy Relationship. Now understand these are just my thoughts/opinions, by no means do you have to agree with me. Let me just say I have experienced some of these things so I recognize them when I see them. I also learned myself worth and got out of it!!!!!! You see that is the first step in all relationships; you must know yourself worth before you enter into any relationship. If you don’t love yourself and respect yourself; don’t look to receive these from others, you are your greatest protector (outside of God of course)…”Protect” yourself.
Friendships should be a relationship with someone that you trust will have your best interest at heart, supportive of you, yet willing to tell you the truth even if it hurts at that moment but knowing it is for your good. A friend is someone who will be there with you when you cry and when you laugh. They are persons who’ll stand by you through the rough patches in your life and the smooth ones. Not just come around when times are good. They will be happy for you when wonderful things happen in your life and not jealous. A friend would never advise you to do anything that will cause you harm or disgrace. Now they may not agree with all of your decisions, but they will respect them and you.
Dating is taking the time to get to know a person, and taking that time to see if you have the same things in common; if you have the same values; similar goals and religious beliefs also; if you enjoy each other’s company. It’s not the time to see if you can deal with them treating you like crap; disrespecting you and not treating you with the respect and dignity you deserve. It’s not the time to find out if you can handle the mentally and/or physical abuse they give! NO! If you are experiencing this…this is the time to “Hit the Road” and hit if FAST! Understand that what you get in dating mostly likely you will get that during the course of the relationship or whatever level you take it to (ex.. marriage, etc.). Simply stating if a person cheats on you while you are dating more than likely they will cheat again! If a person lies to you, more than likely they will lie again. If a person hits you or are verbally abusive, more than likely they will do that again. Am I making it clearer now? Notice I said “more than likely”. I say this because change can come with help and through “Christ”. But that’s a chance you will have to take. As for me; I'm not willing to take that chance with my life, especially if we are only dating. Keep in mind you are only dating! If you don’t like what you see…move on! Life’s too short to be wasting your time!
Marriage is joyful with someone who is your best friend, confidant, lover, companion, motivator, accountability partner, and spiritual partner, financial partner, parenting partner, travel partner, explorer partner, risk taking partner and prayer partner, got your back kind of partner. You see where I'm going with this? Once you take this step two people become one. Whatever you do ultimately you are saying its okay for your spouse to do, because you are one. Marriage is honorable! Treated as that!
Relationships – do you understand them a little more?
Until my next posting remember…
"Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself."
~ Harriet Nelson
Welcome
Welcome to my "Blog" where you will find topics that will Empower you...Encourage you...Motivate you...make you Scratch Your Head and some that you will downright Disagree with. But is not that life?
Until my next posting remember...
Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself."
~ Harriet Nelson
Until my next posting remember...
Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself."
~ Harriet Nelson
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